crushed flowers: a poem by selina nwulu

Written for The Fifth Sense, Crushed Flowers is Selina’s account of the power of scent in invoking very real and visceral memories of a former lover, with an illustrative response to the poem by Colombian artist Herikita.

Poet, writer and researcher Selina Nwulu is illuminating the way for those affected by identity and social justices through sharing her own experiences through poetry, while providing a clear nuance and depth on narratives often perpetuated within the mainstream. It was just five years ago when Selina first moved to London after graduating from studying languages at Leicester University, that she began performing and sharing her poetry. Just two years later she was the Young Poet Laureate of London, a position that enabled her to connect her poetry with new audiences across the city with a profound effect. Identity and social justices are two themes prevalent in Selina’s writing that stem from her personal experiences; her Nigerian heritage, growing up in the ethnically sparse city of Rotherham and the common sense of displacement in our own skin that can naturally occur as a result. Now currently in a year long residency at London’s foremost language institute Free Word Centre where she is a writer and creator on a collaborative project with various scientists and artists, Selina takes a look at food in relation to both social issues and it’s literal effect on our emotional state.

Do you remember the first time you felt compelled to channel your feelings into a poem?

Growing up, I wrote quite a lot so I think that’s why I feel very comfortable with writing because it’s something that I grew up doing. I never imagined I’d share it but it was something that I did so even if something was happening at school or with a friend i’d write what I now see as poetry but in my diary. I don’t know if I’d have put it this way when I was younger but now I can see that growing up in Rotherham being the only black girl in my school, the only black family on my street - there were a lot of instances in which I think that I was overlooked or misunderstood or characterised and so I feel like poetry, in a very quiet way was my way of being able to express myself without apology and to feel grounded by that.  I don’t think I’d have said that at the time because when you’re young you’re just trying to get on with it but looking back, I can see that poetry and wiring in general gave me a voice that I hadn’t quite developed in the outside world yet.

Poetry is often poignant in the way it can beautifully articulate our feelings, both universally and the ones we’re often too ashamed to have. What makes is so essential to you?

With poems of mine where I talk about identity or going back to Nigeria where my family are from, I’ve spoken to people afterwards who have said ‘that really reminds me of my family’ so I feel likes there’s a universal appeal in the sense of where can we feel like we belong in our own skin and often people don’t feel that here for various reasons. I feel there’s that kind of universal message there, but I think if nothing else, the things I’ve written around social issues and kind of the refugees - it’s so important to think about the human story around a large issue. I think our minds are full of so many automatic associations when you think of immigration or refuses that you lose sense of the story, you lose sense of the person.

Generally, given our political climate and our disillusion with big power, alternative voices, alternative ways of telling stories, of reflecting on the world are the things people are turning to more than ever.

Are there certain themes you feel you naturally or consciously explore more than others?

I do feel that the news for better or worse is often something that triggers me to write so in a bit of a dry way, current affairs is something that I come back to. What I like to explore as well is a bit of wordplay and all the rest of it - to literally take some of the words that are being used and play with it.  I’ve not really explored it yet, but I am also very inspired by dance, movement and theatre. In the near future I’d really like to incorporate that in my work, the ideas of how movement can influence poetry and words and vice versa. I love dance, I love to dance and I love to watch it so I feel very inspired by that whether I’m dancing or watching. I’m really getting into writers of colour, particularly black female writers. This comes back to writer’s being able to give voice to experiences I didn’t know affected me. It feels very important that I read different writers of colour and see how they’ve worded and expressed the different obstacles they’ve faced. That inspires me and tells me that that’s something I can do and carry on doing as well.

Who are some of your female role models that have influenced your practice today?

I’m really grateful to have grown up with four older sisters. Being the only black girl in my school and it not being very diverse,  growing up with four older sisters that I could look up to  was a lifeline for me. I’m really really grateful for that. I’ve grown up now so it’s not quite the same dynamic as when I was a child, but in my formative years the role models I had were very much my older sisters.

Where does the future of poetry lie in your opinion?

I think that all indication is that there’s a resurgence of poetry and poetry is becoming more popular. I’m inevitably biased because i’m gravitating towards poetry circles so it’s always popular in those circles. I think poetry is more widely recognised and I think crucially different kinds of poetry are more widely recognised. Hopefully we’re widening the gap between page and stage poetry and the rest of it, and different forms being equally valued and appreciated. Generally, given our political climate and our disillusion with big power, alternative voices, alternative ways of telling stories, of reflecting on the world are the things people are turning to more than ever. I’m hopeful that poetry continues to connect with people and also continues to attract more people.

Written on the theme of memories invoked by scent, we invited Colombian artist Herikita to illustrate her response to Selina's poem Crushed Flowers.  

Illustration by Herikita
Illustration by Herikita

Crushed Flowers

I found you in a detergent,

smelt you in the chest of a freshly washed shirt.

My hands clenched it in reflex

the way lovers grab at sheets. Muscle memory

Your scent brings you back to me in a precise fashion,

reminds me of the edges of your frame.

The crackingly atoms in the gaps

between our profiles when our faces touch

I trace the slow droop from your forehead to nose

with my finger. Discover your lips as a full bodied wine.

Black cherry and aged oak swirl on my tongue,

drink deeply, love, drink

You’re whispering again like you used to,

as if the surrounding walls and furniture are too much

of an intrusion. Your whispers are draped

in a deep and mellow timbre. As rippling as an ocean current

I know you should not stay.

Before long our ghosts will return to yank open

our jaws and reveal the stench of words

we’d kept rotting in our mouths.

They’ll start hissing and jabbing at us,

remind us of the contours of our faces in anger.

Our smiles will start to crumble.

We grew a quiet love,

holding pain and disbelief at its root

so we only had crushed flowers to offer each other.

For tonight this is enough. So I make

scented water from dropped petals

and I sit with you till the ghosts come.

This Week

making codes: behind the scenes

Take another at director Liza Mandelup's Making Codes video, a look behind the scenes at digital artist and creative director Lucy Hardcastle's piece 'Intangible Matter' that features producer Fatima Al Qadiri, artist Chris Lee and a host of more leading digital artists.

Read More

making movement: behind the scenes

Take a look behind the scenes in filmmaker Agostina Galvez’s Making Movements: a look at the making of The Pike and the Shield: Five Paradoxes with ballerina Nozomi Iijima and other leading movers and shakers from the world of dance including choreographers and dancers Holly Blakey, Aya Sato and the duo Project O. 

Read More

making films: behind the scenes

Take another look behind the scenes in director Eva Michon's Making Films with Alma Har'el video: a look at the making of JellyWolf and the current state of play within the film industry through the eyes of female filmmakers championing diversity, and Alma Har'els Free The Bid initiative. 

Read More

making images: behind the scenes

Take another look behind the scenes at photographer Harley Weir’s journey in capturing five women from around the world as well at a number of other creators defining the image of today in documentary filmmaker Chelsea McMullan’s Making Images video. 

Read More

making exhibitions: behind the scenes

Take a look behind the scenes in director Christine Yuan’s Making Exhibitions with Rebecca Lamarche-Vadel: a look at the making of Just A Second: A Digital Exhibition Curated by Rebecca Lamarche-Vadel, inspired by CHANEL Nº5 L'EAU, and a look at other leading curators and collectives from the art world including BUFU, Rozsa Farkas, Fatos Ustek, Angelina Dreem and Yana Peel.

Read More

seeing sound: in conversation charlotte hatherley & carly paradis

Two of London’s most sought after figures in visually-shaped music meet.

Read More

lizzie borden: feminist trailblazer

As her magnum opus returns to UK shores, Lizzie Borden – the visionary artist behind Born in Flames – talks rebellion, feminist artistry, and her nostalgia for 70s NYC.

Read More

rebecca lamarche-vadel's
just a second

Rebecca Lamarche-Vadel is the Paris based curator for the Palais De Tokyo. Dedicated to modern and contemporary art she puts on large scale exhibitions that span installation, dance, sculpture, photography and spoken word. For The Fifth Sense she created a digital exhibition based on the transformative power of CHANEL’s Nº5 L’EAU.

Read More

reba maybury: she’s got the power

We sat down with the editor, writer and dominatrix Reba Maybury to discuss her taboo-breaking publishing house Wet Satin Press, her latest novel Dining With Humpty Dumpty and what it means to be a woman in control.

Read More